WORDS BY STEPHEN SHELTON | PHOTOGRAPHY BY COLINE LECONTE
Addictive, and often missed, the sounds and memories: Chef yelling, “Hands!” Sizzling steel fry pans. The perfect rhythm of ice rattling inside cocktail shakers as my arms work tirelessly creating icy-cold concoctions. A guest’s cackling laughter. Banter of untold stories, food and drink orders and intensely pointed commands between staff during “Prime Time” dinner hour.
All of this nightly, as I would energetically sling drinks and chat it up with regulars and first timers alike from behind the bar. This was the soundtrack inside the Los Gatos restaurant that I owned and ran called The Lexington House.
The Lex, as it became affectionately known by staff and guests, was more than just the sounds and memories of a business humming along. For myself and staff, it was a second home, a community. It was my life, my addiction.
“I pushed night in and night out, in pursuit of excellence.”
My 11-plus years of owning and operating a restaurant had its costs—financial, personal and physical. The emotional cost, often dismissed, is more than just money, time and energy. It’s emotionally draining to show up EVERY NIGHT with a smile, positive energy and the stamina to give all you have, to ensure that each guest receives a perfect experience, both those visiting for the very first time and that couple who have been supporting you since day one! We in the industry are not allowed, nor are we willing to risk, to let up on excellence and take an emotional “day off.”
As many restaurateurs can attest, you are only as good as the last perfect night of a guest’s experience. It’s “showtime” every night. The feeling I experienced as guests’ faces lit up on the first sip of the cocktail or that first bite of a perfectly prepared dish, however, superseded all exhaustion and depleted emotion. The staff and myself lived for those nights. I pushed night in and night out, in pursuit of excellence. My identity had become the restaurant, not necessarily Stephen, owner of The Lexington House.
It comes up in almost every conversation “Wow, you own a restaurant, that is so cool! Isn’t that a lot of work? What made you decide to open a restaurant?”
""I loved it! The feeling of entertainment and acts of hospitality, feelings of happiness and motivation."
I recall the excitement, as a young teen in Oregon, attending varied church functions on the weekends. They consisted of potlucks and bonfires at the beach; plays at the Grange Hall; making hot chocolate, mulled cider and popcorn to deliver to local communities during the winter holidays. It all required us young teens to work together in harmony, serving and entertaining people of the church, interacting with strangers as we delivered warm drinks to their doorstep. I loved it! The feeling of entertainment and acts of hospitality, feelings of happiness and motivation.
My first job in the restaurant business was as a busboy in Napa Valley at The Calistoga Inn in 1987. For me, it was as easy as tying my shoe. It just felt natural. It was a feeling I didn’t know how to replace in my subsequent career path. What other professions could provide such instant gratification and emotional reward each day? The Lex was about creating a community with excellence in hospitality—a place the community would eventually refer to as their second home; where you would bump into old friends, colleagues, a neighbor. Over time, relationships were built between staff and the guests we served. They became a second family: The Lex family. It was the McKeowans, Zicoviches, Millers, David, the Engels, the Vegans … the list of great regulars is long. The tremendous relationships we worked hard to develop with coworkers, guests, local farmers, winemakers, spirit makers, the Honeybee Lady and so many others, became our mantra, our quest.
In the world of running a restaurant, it isn’t about just delivering good service.
The Lex took on a life of its own, not just as a business but as a living, breathing
reprieve from the outside world of Silicon Valley life. A space that gave all who
passed through the large brown door an emotional lift; a genuine connection with friends or staff; a feeling of being valued; a place where warm receptions and authenticity were the norm; and a place of community and excellence in hospitality.
In the world of running a restaurant, it isn’t about just delivering good service. You might receive good service from your mechanic, your dentist or the car salesperson. For me, it was about excellence in hospitality, which requires so much more of yourself and your emotions. Every little detail mattered, anticipating and exceeding guests’ expectations and maintaining a positive work environment. A mind-set of giving guests more than they expect every night when the door swung open. I pushed hard to ensure guests and staff felt valued. All things that really don’t show up as a line item. It became an addiction for myself and my team. We talked about it all the time during lineups, during service, after service over a drink at one of the local bars or—many times—after hours at The Lex. It became that kind of place. A place I said, “I want this to be the last place I work … or own.”
The announcement at lineup in late 2024 to step away from The Lex was emotionally difficult, for myself and my team. It was turning into a job. The emotions that mattered to me, that made it worthwhile, had run their course.
A successful restaurant requires intense, constant attention to all the emotional details from its leader. It was time to pass the baton to another individual ready to make those connections, deliver excellence in hospitality and create a new family.
A successful restaurant requires intense, constant attention to all the emotional details from its leader.
It is a bit of an empty feeling, not showing up every day to the back door of The Lex, greeting my team, giving high-fives, motivating speeches before the doors open, sitting down with regulars and just catching up. Today, I am excited to show up not as Stephen, owner of The Lex, but as a guest in my life after The Lex.
Stephen Shelton, a seasoned hospitality professional with a degree in city planning and community development, is now obtaining a high school teaching credential. He is inspired to continue connecting with the amazing people and communities that surround us, and to share stories of his 15 years in Silicon Valley.
